Okay so last night I was obviously feeling sorry for myself. Today I just kind of feel numb but better. I know everyone wants to have happiness in their life. It's just hard to ride the happiness roller coaster. Maybe everyone rides it to one degree or another. It's hard to feel hope and happiness and then feel like you've lost all hope and then you feel hopeful again and then it disappears. Maybe the problem isn't the roller coaster, maybe it's that I am an eternal optimist always looking and finding hope when there really isn't any and then I realize it, but unfortunately I then just look for it again. Maybe that's not quite true. I believe in hope, I like having hope. I have to or else what else is there just dispare. Okay I'm rambling, but anyway I'm trying to find hope again today, I'll keep you posted if I find it.
I'm looking out my window right now and I have a beautiful view of a wetland. It is really beautiful, but I'm all of a sudden realizing it's going to have really bad mosquitoes and it's in my backyard. Hmm, that's going to make for an interesting summer.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
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4 comments:
I'm hoping that our frogs will keep our mosquitoes at bay. Is it just me or isn't it amazing that everything seems more hopeless at night. Somehow when the sun rises things always seem a little brighter.
I would like to think that EVERYONE is on that roller coaster because that is definitely how things seem to me, a lot of the time. Some days even weeks can pass with happiness and hope and then suddenly whoosh, down you go and it leaves you completely confused and down. Why can't we all just go merrily along and have the best rides of our lives? Of course truly we know better than that. There must be opposition in all things and the best and sometimes only way to learn is by making mistakes and struggling through difficult challenges in our lives. I personally hate to struggle and think life can be so lopsided and unfair. I hope whatever struggles you are facing you can find a solution or at least see some ray of hope to get you through. I've had some pretty rotten days in my life, I honestly thought I would never get through. I like what Andrea said about the sun rise in the morning, seeing the sun in the morning always warms me and gives me strength.
I love this post, so honest! I am on that roller coaster, i am so sorry you are too. I will pray for you to find your hope. Please know that you are an amazing example to me!!
We don't talk about hope enough I think. Everyone gets seems to like to move right past it and onto faith. And maybe that's the right thing to do, but when the reward for your faithful action doesn't come, you question faith, and then you question hope. I can vouch for hoping. Hope has brought me from the brink of despair and darkness. I have hope because people believed in me that I didn't believe myself. Everyone believes in you Jenell, me most of all. You have lived and persisted in your trails only to become who you are today, and who you are today is an inspiration to everyone around you. You bring hope to me, and that's no small matter. Love ya.
-Aaron
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